


All It Takes

by illustriousprotagonist



Category: Infernal Devices Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: AU in which Jem and Tessa are engaged but Will gets involved, Broken Engagement, Brotherly Love, Emotionally Repressed, Forbidden Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Requited Love, heronstairs, spoilers????
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-28
Updated: 2015-11-28
Packaged: 2018-05-03 16:42:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5298686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/illustriousprotagonist/pseuds/illustriousprotagonist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jem is serene, Will is anxious; the two seem to go together like honey and bees. Will tries to calm himself with Jem's music; but is it possible that the most beautiful sound ever is not his music, but his voice? Would a simple violin lesson be enough to break the dam of his heart?</p>
            </blockquote>





	All It Takes

**Author's Note:**

> Set sometime in Clockwork Prince, after Tessa and Jem were to be wed, but before Clockwork Princess.

The sound of sweet violin music was coming from a room down the long corridor of the Institute. Will didn’t bother to knock on his _parabatai_ ’s bedroom door, for he knew Jem wouldn’t mind his intrusion. The wooden door barely made a sound under the noise of the violin. Will always had an infatuation for the way Jem’s hands made such a beautiful sound resonate from a simple wooden instrument.

Jem’s eyes were closed, his brow wrinkled in concentration. As soon as he messed up on a note, his eyes opened in frustration. He seemed startled to see Will sitting on the trunk at the foot of his bed. Will’s long legs were stretched uncomfortably in front of him.

“Will, when did you decide to grace me with your presence?” Jem asked pleasantly, not at all annoyed.

“I simply wanted to listen to you play,” Will replied earnestly.

“Ah.” Jem shook his head, and little strands of silver hair fell into his eyes. Will always felt a strong urge to feel his hair, to feel the locks between his fingers. Was that odd? He hoped it wasn’t odd.

“I’m absolutely infatuated with the way you play. Play for me, would you?”

“Now, now, Will. Do not think me a Covent Garden performer, I am not quite that good.”

“You’re surely joking! You, James Carstairs, are the best performer I’ve ever witnessed! I haven’t had the opportunity to visit Covent Garden, myself, but I’ve been around the area. Some of orchestral pieces composed do not even begin to compare to your sound, believe me!”

“Well, now, I think I almost blushed. You’re making fun, I’m sure.”

“Quite the opposite, actually. Now, would you play something and show me how good you really are?”

Jem sighed and put the bow back on the strings of the instrument. One swipe of the wand sent peaceful notes swimming into the air. Will had heard this tune before, once while passing by Jem’s door to get to his own. He, admittedly, stopped outside Jem’s door to listen to the music. Now, Will found himself swaying his head to the flow of the notes. His eyes, he realized, were closed peacefully. _Something about that music_ , Will swore.

After what seemed like the smallest amount of time, the song ended. Jem chuckled softly, “It seems like you were enjoying it.”

“Very much so,” Will replied, not too annoyed that the music stopped, for Jem’s voice was like music all on its own. “Maybe you should teach me to play, I’d love to learn from such a great teacher!”

“Oh, please, Will! You’re much too flattering. What’s gotten into you, this evening?” Jem replied, putting his hand over his face to hide his blossoming smile. “Get up. Might as well start your teaching while you’re still coherent.”

Will relented, walking over to where Jem now stood by the closed and curtained window.

“Before you play, you have to assume the correct position. It’s just like fighting, Will. You’ll get it down before dawn,” Jem said as he put his hand on the small of Will’s back. “Don’t slouch. Shoulders straight, legs slightly spread. Good. Now, hold your arm up, your hand should be level with your shoulder. Great, you’re a fast learner.” Jem smiled at every little thing Will did correctly. It was only about five minutes before Will adapted to the new change of position. Finally, Jem handed his violin to Will. “Be careful with her, as she’s very delicate.”

Will chuckled at Jem’s personification of his violin.

Jem stood behind Will, his right hand clasped over his _parabatai_ ’s, tilting his hand this way and that, getting Will’s hand just in the right position. “Okay, now pull the bow back, across the strings, and try to make a sound.”

Will did exactly that, and the violin procured the most God-awful sound the both of them had ever heard. Jem stopped Will by gripping his wrist. “Okay, for a first try, that was pretty terrible. But, you should get better as time passes and you have more training sessions. Let me guide you, just for now.”

Jem put his hands over Will’s. His right hand putting the taller boy’s fingers in line with the bow stick. His left hand was clasped over Will’s left, pushing his fingers in the right position to play a sound. This body position was extremely friendly, even for them. Will felt his face heat up, a blush arose, wrapping his cheeks in colour. Jem felt nothing odd about this position; at least, not at first. Their faces were almost too close for comfort.

Will cleared his throat, just to call attention to the odd position they now found themselves in. Jem was the first to move away, for Will was too nervous to move.

“Oh, dear. I-I don’t know what came over me… I apologize, maybe we should just stop the lessons for tonight?” Jem stuttered.

“Why must we stop? I was quite enjoying the lesson, Jem. Even if it were a bit...odd,” Will replied. “You were simply guiding me, not a thing to fuss over.”

“I don’t know, Will… Maybe… Maybe we can just go to the library and play a game of chess. That might clear our minds of...whatever that just was.”

“Possibly. Or, we might stay here and…” Will dropped whatever he was going to say. He was looking at Jem’s slightly parted lips. The sight brought something over him, something primal. He lunged for Jem, cupping his face in his hands. Will’s mouth connected with Jem’s with fervor. Jem’s eyes widened for a moment, then he tried pushing Will’s chest back. Grunts of protest made their way from Jem’s mouth.

Will let go of Jem’s face suddenly. “By the Angel… I-I’m so sorry, Jem. I didn’t-!”

Jem wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, stunned. Yet, he regained his composure. “It’s quite all right. However, I hope you know what you just did is against the Law, and against London’s laws.”

Will looked at Jem, wide-eyed. “I-I know, I don’t… Jem, forgive me. I don’t know what just happened!”

“No need for forgiveness, Will. No transgression was committed against me. As for on the Clave...I’m not sure.” Jem sat on the trunk. He patted the space beside himself, waiting for Will to sit beside him.

“So… You’re not upset with me?” Will sat beside his parabatai.

Jem chuckled despite himself. “Upset? Me? Shame on you, Will; you know I do not have much of a temper. Of course I’m not upset!” Jem took Will’s hand into his own, rubbing his thumb over a clairvoyant sight rune etched into the back of Will’s hand. He felt Will shiver at Jem’s touch. “You can’t help your feelings, Will. Don’t repress them.”

“Jem, there’s something I have been meaning to tell you. It has...been nagging me for quite a long time,” Will said as he looked at Jem’s hand.

Jem looked into Will’s blue eyes intently. He brought his face closer to Will’s, and he noticed him looking at his pale lips. “You have beautiful eyes,” Will whispered as he tilted his head. Will closed his eyes and huffed, hot breath on Jem’s mouth. Soon, Jem closed his eyelids as well.

Finally, their lips touched. Sparks flew as Jem brought his hand to cup Will’s cheek. Noses were bumped, but that was only a minor intrusion that added to the heat of their kiss. Jem noticed that Will’s lips were...full. Hearts were racing as Will opened his mouth to deepen the kiss.

It was obvious Will was an experienced kisser, whereas Jem was less so. He put on this facade, only to make Will not think he was a total beginner at this. Though, Will could see right through his _parabatai_ ’s curtain.

Will smirked through the kiss, and Jem felt it. He lightly nipped at Will’s bottom lip, much to Will’s delight. Jem’s hands were free to roam his friend’s body, pulling Will closer to him. Body heat arose, fueling their passion. Will pushed Jem back a bit, the angle uncomforting to Jem’s tailbone. He leaned Jem far enough back to-

Thud.

Jem had fallen onto the floor below. He had a look on his face, signaling he was going to cry (Will had seen this expression only rarely, but he saw the significance of the expression). “Are you all right, Jem? I-I’m so sor-”

Laughter.

“Yes, yes, I’m quite all right!” Jem waved passively as he bent his legs under him to stand up. “I suppose that marks the end of our practice session?”

“Practice for what? Kissing or violin?” Will replied, jokingly upset. “I was hoping for an all-night practice session.”

The air suddenly became thick with tension and seriousness.

“Will. You know we cannot continue...whatever this is. It’s illegal, Will!”

“I know, Jem. I know. I just don’t understand how people can limit-” Will stopped and looked torn, as if he needed to say something but couldn’t. “Love!”

“I already knew you loved me, Will. I don’t understand what you’re getting at.”

“Really? You...knew?” Will asked dumbfoundedly.

“Yes! We are already brothers, so why wouldn’t you love me?”

Will felt a pang of something terrible in his chest. “Jem, no. No, no, no… I-I love you, like...like a woman would love a man!” Will blurted out.

Realisation dawned on Jem. “Oh… _Oh_. Will, I-I…”

Will looked to the ground in shame, somewhat fearful of what Jem’s response was going to be. "I wouldn't have kissed you if I di-"

“...do, too.”

Will’s head snapped up, his eyes wide. “You-. _What_?” All of the breath was seemingly gone from his lungs.

“Yes, Will. God, how I’ve longed to tell you that.”

“You haven’t told me…”

“Yes, but I was in fear of you telling the Charlotte, and then her telling the Clave.”

Will sighed, putting his head in his hands. “ _I_ haven’t told _you_ because I was in fear of you not feeling the same. The Clave can sod off, I just want to be with you.”

Jem got off the floor and sat next to Will again on the trunk. Jem exhaled, grabbing for Will’s hand. He rubbed his thumb in the back of Will’s hand. “I want to be with you, too, Will. But Tessa and I…”

Jem let the sentence drop there, the silence filling the space where words would be.

Will looked down at their intermingled hands and inhaled sharply.

“I think you should go,” Jem whispered, “before more heartache occurs.”

Will nodded knowingly and stood up. He gave Jem a quick peck on the cheek before trudging to the door. “Goodnight, Jem.”

“Goodnight, Will,” Jem’s voice cracked as he spoke. The door closed and Jem’s eyes filled with tears. “I love you.”

 

Maybe their love was best kept repressed. However, both Will and Jem could not deny that aching, burning passion they felt for one another. How they longed to hold each other in the late night hours, whispering sweet nothings only lovers spoke of. Will longed to be in Tessa’s place, but he knew Jem cared deeply for her, and breaking them apart would break Jem’s entire being as well.

Will knew it was best if he didn’t pine for Jem.

**Author's Note:**

> This image(art at the end)-- http://miniclary.tumblr.com/post/62616550717/happy-heronstairs-day-fan-art-by-me -- inspired me to write a sad spin on said image. All credit goes the insanely talented "Miniclary" on Tumblr and "c.lp.art" on Instagram!


End file.
